The Diaper Diaries: Chapter One

 

A compilation of diaper changes gone rogue. 

…because changing a diaper is never the same experience twice. 💩

 

Little baby boy is crying in his car seat not willing to sit in it. Traveling with child and baby safety concept. Little passenger transportation

From Top to Bottom

 

“We had been searching for a gas station for over half an hour because little Charlie had made a hefty deposit into his diaper bank account. The aroma in our family minivan was beginning to be unbearable and the Texas heat was certainly not helping the situation. Eventually we stumbled upon a questionable looking truck stop in a small city north of Lubbock. The diaper changing area was a deplorable collage of gum and graffiti which I had to sacrifice a blankie for in order to lay him down. After cleaning him up I reached into my bag for a fresh diaper and to my horror realized I was out. I had to get creative, fast… This place was freaking me out and we had about another hour and a half before we got home. As his momma it was my responsibility to find a way to cover his little tush in case he decided to go again. I frantically looked in my bag and around the bathroom for something. …Nothing. Then I looked down at myself. I was wearing two tank tops. Grateful I had decided that morning to take advantage of the layering trend, I removed my outer tank and donated it to the cause. Charlie was definitely not a fan. After several minutes of trying to burrito wrap his bum, I finally got it to stay put and secure under his onesie. I packed up and hot tailed it out of there. Luckily he made it home dry but I will never look at a tank top the same way again.”

 

-Molly (Amarillo, TX)

 

 

little baby in the arms of Santa Claus on a background of Christmas tree and bed

The Stocking Stuffer

 

“It was our first visit to the mall as a family. It was a week before Christmas and I refused to leave without getting an adorable picture of my three month old daughter with Santa. Waiting in line was going surprisingly smoothly on our end until the little one started getting squirmy. Next thing I knew, it was our turn and Santa welcomed us with open arms. As I was handing Santa the little one I noticed a dreaded familiar weight and warmth on her bottom. At that moment I realized I was handing Santa my daughter fully loaded. It was too late to take her back, Santa didn’t know what he was in for. I hoped for the best and anxiously stood behind Santa, looking down at them both while praying for an early Christmas miracle. Unfortunately for everyone in the immediate vicinity, the photographer was adamant about Santa holding my daughter slightly higher, causing the contents of her diaper to spill out onto Santa’s lap and sleeve. The smell was impressively horrid. Not even the lingering festive scents within the mall could mask it. I immediately snatched her out of Santa’s arms, profusely apologized, and ran to the bathroom.

Looking back on it, I still regret not getting that picture. It would have definitely made the front page of our photo album. I guess there’s always next year…”

 

– Kathleen (Indianapolis, IN)

 

 

Mom changing stinky diaper to her little daughter on table, holding the diaper far from her with one hand. She touches her nose and does a grimace for disgust. Wide shot, low angle

Live Stream

 

“One Saturday morning my son was being especially finicky as I was changing his diaper. I figured it was just one of those days and didn’t think twice about it. As I finished wiping up the mini crime scene down south he thought it was an opportune time to empty his bladder on my shirt, water fountain style. Naturally this caught me by surprise and I did every maneuver possible to avoid the stream. I had backed up quickly, tripping over a power strip in the corner of the room. Oh, and did I mention I was holding his old, full diaper? Yep… I was a goner and so was the diaper. I ended up landing on my behind in a vast jungle of stuffed animals while the diaper hit the wall behind me. For a few seconds, I sat in silence, scared to turn around. I won’t go into graphic details but we had to hire a cleaning service and repaint the room.”

 

-Camilla (Arlington, VA)

 

 

Cute little baby in funny colorful hat sleeping in infant car seat on a walk in a park

Elevator Music

 

“There was a two week period when my seven month old daughter was backed up and only able to go once every two or three days. When she did end up going, it definitely made up (and then some) for the days I wasn’t greeted with a full diaper. I remember in the middle of the second week it had been almost four days since she had gone. I was starting to get worried and decided to make a doctors appointment. It was in the moderately packed elevator going up to the doctor’s office where my daughter began expressing some relief. By “expressing” I mean letting out several loud, deadly farts. What originally seemed somewhat cute turned into a nightmare within a matter of seconds for everyone in the elevator. It wasn’t until I sat down in the waiting area and removed her blanket that I realized what had actually happened in the elevator.

Everything. Came. Out!

To her, it was the the funniest thing ever. She was giggling away as we waited despite the fact that she had completely destroyed her car seat and was practically floating in her own you-know-what.

 

-Nicole (Holland, MI)

 

 

Little baby superhero with red cape flies through the night sky.

Accidental Hero

 

“I had just gotten Lola out of the bath and she was squeaky clean. Two minutes into a clean diaper she decided it was a good time to unleash something unworldly into it. …and then roll around in her self declared masterpiece. At first glance it looked like she was wearing a cape out of poop. It was as if my little Avenger in-training’s diaper completely gave up on being a diaper. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, she decided to sneeze as I was cleaning her off. Any and all internal leftovers were flushed out of her at that moment and catapulted straight in my direction. It took everything in me to not throw up on her.”

 

-Ashlee (San Diego, CA)

 

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